Banker Gifts

'He's from Goldman Sacks.'

Goldman Sacks.

"And this is where we adjust the interest rate."

"Now we just have to sit back and wait for the Fed to bail us out."

Company man

No-one ever leaves Goldman Sachs voluntarily

Humpty Dumpty sat on a Wall Street

ChairWOman of the Federal Reserve.

'You're part of the 6% we won't be lending money to...'

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

A Day In The Kitchen

Thanks a Mil, Warren!

'Your best hedge against a down market is having lots of money.'

"What about hiding it someplace further off-shore?"

"Today, stocks dropped on news the new federal reserve chief, Janet Yellen, is a 'rookie'."

"What I'd like, basically, is a temporary line of credit just to tide me over the rest of my life."

Sure, it helps to be a blood-sucking parasite, but that's not all it takes to be a stockbroker...

"If you've already sent payment, please disregard this notice."

"Checks and balances! Checks and balances! -- You sound just like the silly bank!"

"I can remember when having a '212' phone number still meant something in this world."

"Beats me - I've never dealt with a sovereign debt crisis before."

Three steps to turn around the economy.

"There's always an element of risk. No one has a crystal ball. OK, I have one, but no one knows how it works."

"You know, you can do this just as easily online."

'We are prepared to make you a loan, but first you have to prove that you really don't need it,'

'How do I know you'll still be around in a year?'

'I'm in equities and mutual funds. You?'

'Where I come from it's called collateral.'

"A banker, eh? Can you make a living at that?"

'Your circulation is poor.' 'Are you saying I've got a cash flow problem?'

"That concludes my prepared remarks. I will now evade your questions."

'Back in the day, you could leverage . . .'

Santa's Bank Manager

"Of course, you could try another bank, if there were any other banks."

'If you've already sent in your payment, kindly disregard this friendly reminder.'