Bank Security Personnel Gifts

Money in mousetrap

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Mario Draghi

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

The Shrinking Dollar.

Dogs stealing cat food - Vice Squad orders 'Stay!'

Privacy Conference Security

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

'I'm afraid that the top investment banks are looking for more from job applicants than a 'Top Degree from the University of Hard Knocks'.'

"My boss had security escort me out of the office today. I'm worried this means I won't be getting a bonus."

Bank cashier sits near sign: 'Please do not ask for credit, as refusal often offends'.

"So, how was your day at work, Dear?"

'The bigger they are... The harder they hit!'

'You know, you can do this all online now.'

"The club scene is really changing."

Graffiti on guard's horse

'I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go, Richter. The crime rate has dropped.'

Private Viewing

'Says here you can tear phonebooks in half? Well, security could use a man like you in our shredding department!'

'You know, this is a pretty dangerous line of work you're in...'

'If you'll excuse me, my car is on fire.'

'No trouble at all giving you an overdraft Mr Simkins - have mine!'

"His name? It's 'Reggie the Drug-Sniffing Dog.'"

Giving Up a Little Privacy

A pocket of pygmies - "Have you anything to declare sir?"

The Cashless Society is Here

"The security scanner said I have exquisite feet."

"Remember that requirement that you work without supervision? Forget it."

Party-Crashing Ban

'You do a fine job guarding the place, we just need you to shed less.'

'This is okay, but my ambition is to be an automatic teller.'

Bluewater security man stopping baby with hood.