Bank Staff Gifts

I heard they put you on Children's Accounts.

Sperm Bank Robbery.

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Mario Draghi

Spot the difference.

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

The Shrinking Dollar.

"And we will absolutely start lending again as soon as we finish building our debtors' prison."

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

Looks like the bank's director still inside.

Bar: Now serving 24 hours - 'I want to get as wasted as you look.'

Bank cashier sits near sign: 'Please do not ask for credit, as refusal often offends'.

'You know, you can do this all online now.'

"Some guy by the name of Bernanke called in. He wants to try and make an emergency soft landing."

"Hey, you gotta put that away- this is a laptopless bar."

'That's my boy...'

'Mr. Hickey really knows how to keep our stockholders meetings short and sweet!'

"Once upon a time there was a kind bank manager who found all the money lost in the global financial meltdown, brought world peace, stopped global warming, cured the common cold and discovered Julian Assange is Santa."

Bank Loans - Thank you, I shall always be in your debt.

"Do you take dark money?"

'No trouble at all giving you an overdraft Mr Simkins - have mine!'

'We are now entering sombre hour, happy hour has finished.'

"Want to trade banks with me?"

Bank notes coming out of a safe.

"From the gentleman at the end of the bar. Again."

"Blowing the whistle is perfect for a sports bar to let its patrons know that Happy Hour is over."

'You wouldn't threaten your bank manager...er...maybe...'

'This is okay, but my ambition is to be an automatic teller.'

'I hope it's fixed soon. I miss the convenience and friendly beep.'

No one ever tried to rob the Samurai Bank.

'Actually, we were hoping you could loan some money to us.'

'We're seeking a safe tax haven for our investments.'

Fake Counterfeit Money

"Safe FDIC insured, guaranteed 2.65% APY...check out our new Emotional Support CDs."

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