Bandage Buff Gifts

'Well, a quick yank didn't work, either. Let's get you some lower tack bandages.'

"Oh, come on. If it had happened to me you'd've laughed too."

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

"It feels good to unwind..."

'I'd like a second opinion, doctor.'

"I'd delighted your son wants to be a surgeon.. but that no reason to let let him practice on you."

'No.... My cat doesn't like being given pills either...'

'She's one of our nurses hiding from the patient load.'

Appointments and Disappointments

"274 meters of bandage - It looks as though you're going to make the Guiness Book of Records, Mr Henderson!"

"No, I wasn't in a car accident. As a new parent, I'm still trying not to trip on all the toys on the floor."

"Mom wants us to spend 'Quality time' together, so don't blame me."

How can you be so sure this is Farmer Phillip's Farm?

Medical Supplies

'Admit it,you've been bothering the nurses again,haven't you?

"If you need anything just wink."

'I'm afraid the bed shortage is rather acute...'

The Pocket Knife Tool Belt

"Stop moaning. I said I'm sorry."

'Well, at least we were able to remove that pesky hangnail. So, you have to be pretty stoked about that."

'Talking to John always raises my self esteem. He's such a great listener!'

First aid: A wizard has a bandage on his finger with turban on it.

'Any reason why I can't keep him in that cast?'

"I bit my tongue...but the bandages won't stick!"

Minor Surgery

"Are you in there, Mr Elkins?"

'We may as well make use of you.'

'You can see the Doctor now. Don't ask him anything too medical.'

"Harry... Looking good buddy!"

It's from your private medical insurance.

'Keep your eye on the screen, and if anything unexpected happens, push the button!'

"There's no response. Are you sure he's in there?"

Carbon Dating Agency

'I don't suppose it occured to you to simply agree to disagree?'