Ban Advocates Gifts

'I always was a bit concerned about the health risks of second-hand smoke.'

'What's the big deal about acid rain? Can't we just make alkaline rain to counteract it?'

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

"Beans, Them Beans, Them Beans, Beans, Beans..."

I Want to be a Drone President

'What it is is a giant kidney.'

"Have you given any thought to legacy and sustainability?"

"Right it's decided! We are both sober for October and Stoptober. Then Movember and Decembeard and Dry January, then..."

OVERPOPULATION CRISIS LOOMS!, 'If the Government really wanted zero population growth, they'd turn the problem over to the Pentagon.'

Secret Agent Men

'Pass the word around. The era of big government is not over.'

The Ultrasound.

If Animals Were Racist...

"But it will never get better if you picket"

"The SUV scooter. For those who don't have the energy, yet still feel the need to waste it."

'We must be nearer a land-fill site than I thought.'

Cuba returns to the bicycle

'I told you smokefree bars wouldn't be the end of it!'

Every Day Is Fundraising Time

"Our rule of thumb is: if it tastes good, don't eat it."

"What about this book, boss?" "Yeah, get rid of it—it's got too many long words in it."

Gunfight at the OK Coral

"Soylent Green Puppy Food’ is doggie!"

'I wouldn't be seen dead in a cardboard coffin!'

Grim reaper with a notepad passes a group of smokers

Do you want to add something about not smoking?

Waste of water

"My client was unaware that public waste disposal places exist, as she only watches TRASH on the television."

Man in a sea of Bottled Water.

The tree of knowledge discovers that paper is made from wood.

'What do you mean no bees are allowed? That's species discrimination.'

'Nobody said anything about a bagpipe ban.'

"Are you going to dispense candy with that mouth?"