Balzac Aficionado Gifts

Honore de Balzac

The DaVinci Code

'Tarzan interviewing for a position as a corporate lawyer.' An interviewer asks, 'When we go against the gorillas, how can we be sure that you won't forget which side you're representing?'

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

Antonio Vivaldi

'I think they're up to something.'

Leonardo Da Vinci paints a selfie

'Mona Lisa, would it make you happy if I gave you a foot massage every night?'

Binary Man

'Gerald was stripping some old wallpaper, and there it was - Leonard Da Vinci's lost fresco ‘The Battle of Anghiari'.'

"You're awfully tame this evening."

Fellow Sheep of the Ring

He's the first Master Sculptor since the Renaissance also trained as a Mohel.

'Not gruel, stupid! -- I said find the GRAIL!'

"We received another message from that scoundrel Robin Hood, sire!"

'You might want to try another photographer, Sire. This one tends to cut the heads off.'

'Could you tone down the smile just a little?'

Petrarch

"You know I hate birthdays!"

"Why, Giambattista Tiepolo, you old so-and-so! Who knew you could paint?"

Leonardo's first drawing

Zombie plumber calling out for drains...

Ben Jonson.

"I would never do a nude scene, unless the part really called for it."

Michelangelo eh...well you're going to have to come up with some ID!

"Welcome to your new home Sire. There isn't an enemy in the land that will penetrate these three foot thick stone walls."

"She's a Rolex. He's a Timex."

Monk Graffiti

'How about that? -- Lady Godiva got a bouffant!'

'Have you figured out our New Year's resolution?'

'Another Scotch?'