Screen Aficionado Gifts

"Which side of the plates do the cellphones go?"

Binary Man

"I would never do a nude scene, unless the part really called for it."

Technology Dependence

'Have you figured out our New Year's resolution?'

"Tonight we'll preview the entire summer reality TV season!"

New Years Resolution

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

Television Readers.

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

"Bloody hell!"

'There's nothing on.'

"I don't know what else we can do. He won't look up from the screen!"

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

'We need you to settle a bet -- was 'Twilight Zone' a sitcom or a documentary?'

Kritik's Korner

"I know! Two years without anymore Game Of Thrones?"

The city of San Francisco switches from cable cars to satellite dish at a cost of only $79.99 a month for the first six months.

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? A scene from an Esther Williams movie.

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

Canadian film production

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

"We need to make it through at least one movie, so we have something to root for during the Oscars."

Moby Dick

A bunch of baseball players sitting on a baseball diamond watching TV.

Big screen TV falling through floor

'Have you seen me?' (Brain missing in TV viewer)

"You can tell it's a period drama because they're not wearing ozone helmets."

'Action!...Cut!...Right, everything else is CGI'

My phone is synced with my tablet, my tablet is synced with my laptop ... but none of them are synced with me."