Ballpark Buffoons Pillows

'Nice catch, idiot!'

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

Currently Boston

Baseball batting cage theater La Cage Aux Folles.

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

You'll understand after you see him pitch.

"Costs have risen by 200% and we are behind schedule. We are living up to our acronym gentlemen and I am not happy about it!!"

Hostile takeovers in the novelty business.

"...They must be poor catchers, there's two men behind the plate."

'Yo, Danny! The pitcher's complaining about the crowd noise. Turn it down!'

"I don't think he can touch your in-the-dirt ball."

'Yes, Haffner appears to be tiring...'

'No way, man! Murphy isn't worth anywhere near the 3.5 million they're paying him!'

'Instead of the usual boring campaign speech, folks, I'm going to make some balloon animals!'

"How come all your alcohol is behind a paywall?"

Baseball Angels

'Congratulations, Hightower. You now lead the league in untainted urine samples.'

'He looks great in the field, but can he bat?'

Born to play ball.

Shows Bundt

"We try to inject a little humor in our statements, but you should take them seriously."

Expansion 2000: The Baton Rouge Ball Boys

'He hits better against right handed pitching, so pitch left-handed, to him.'

'So much for the question of whether of whether or not a curveball really curves.'

"If it's any consolation, Alex, it's the first 'G' I've ever given."

'We'll take three of the big bags... oh boy! This stuff always tastes better at the ballpark!'

'Wow...I've got to admit, Stanley...when you said you always got the best seats I thought you were just blowing smoke.'

"Yes, I know I only caught a lizard - it's called artistic license, Mildred!"

'Yo, Bob! I think a heckler just nailed me with something. What's on my back?'

Baseball contract signing gloves.

'Two beef and pork by-products and a turkey dog, please!'

'Get over it, Brady. Pitchers at this level are expected to get batters out. Randy there gave up eight runs in one inning...'

'...The athletic trainer's coming with the WD-40.'

You're right. He's gonna throw the change-up.

Before baseball, raccooning enjoyed a brief stint as the national pastime.