Ball Flight Analyst Gifts

A visor is very helpful when trying to follow the flight of your ball.

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

"So, how was your day at work, Dear?"

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

"Greta, look! The first dysfunctional family of winter!"

"My God, you're right ... it all makes sense. I crossed the road because of my parents!"

A hunter hitting his first bird.

Praying for a goal assist.

'Our sabermetrics guy has confirmed that last year's team that went 60-102 was bad.'

Airline check-in with a bankruptcies update.

"Figured out who should bat cleanup yet, Skipper?"

'The flight took off here...Then there's a big question mark over what happened next!'

"What qualifies you to be a ballistics expert?"

'Apparently the first leg was a bit contentious.'

'The object is to get the ball into either of those two nets.' - 'It would help if the men didn't get in each other's way so much.'

"..common sense has prevailed, Michael Owen's agent has let the referee off with just a severe warning."

'There is a $15 baggage fee... a $15 airport improvement fee... a $15 full body scan fee... a $15 pat-down fee...'

"The boring bit about cricket is waiting for them to find the ball after you've hit a six."

'I don't think you are going to see the end of this match with that 4-4-2 formation.'

No caption (A ball boy crouches by the net on a ping pong table as a game is being played).

United Reputation

"Don't waste your money,dearie-there's only one score draw next Saturday!"

Avram Grant, Premier League Manager.

'It's amazing what they throw away: a tracksuit, a dozen oranges and another 2-0 lead.'

Spain trial for rigged soccer matches

Game Of Chance and Game of Skill.

Missile company employee gets a missile in his 'incoming' tray.

'I can't find anything against it in the rule book!'

"Jehoshaphat! Look at that gait!"

French football explained - 50p.

"What qualifies you to be a ballistics expert?"

'No, Joyce, it's not over yet. ... And for the last time, I have no idea who's going to win - it's a seesaw battle.'

"Relax, Eddie. Our research division says the fundamentals look good."

Ferguson winds up Wenger