Baldness Navigator Pillows

'And, if the adhesive doesn't work, here's a free box of thumb tacks.'

Bad for you but to die for

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

"Tell me more about your fear of going bald."

Ed's receding hairline!

"As the years go by, and my hair recedes, I comb my parting with such sweet sorrow."

"Well, I didn't have any more wall space, and I was also tired of being bald."

'Hey, look. This anti hair loss treatment is finally working. My hair's stopped falling out!'

"This tiny bald spot where your hairline used to be is so-o-o cute!"

Balding gnomes

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

'He wants some hair restorer for his birthday.'

New Hair Cloning Technology.

Shrink

"A valiant effort, Mike, but just accept that you're going bald."

Baldness Facts

Adam and Eve - Food scares

'A crack team of scientists searches tirelessly for a cure for baldness.'

"Maybe if I put these under my pillow I'll get a visit from the hair fairy."

"Eating junk food may make you feel young at heart, but it isn't making your heart feel young."

"I avoid the 3 'Bs' when I'm dieting - boxes, buckets and bags."

"His baldness was way out of control, so we had to put him into a medically induced comb-over."

"The combover works even less now that you're using your back hair."

The less celebrated, but still spectacular, combover eagle.

"I'm doing my part to conserve electricity."

'Going bald isn't all bad - just think, you'll never have dandruff again!'

"Wig or the wisp?"

'Today our special guest is Pamela, who will be telling us what it's like to have an extreme fear of being in the dark. To protect her identity we've placed her in a darkened studio.'

"The Five Major Warning Signs of Baldness."

'Worst case of premature baldness I've ever seen.'

"All in favor of toupees, say aye."

Overeaters anonymous meeting 9 to 10pm

'You've cut me off. So how can I find my cheque book in the dark?'