Baldness Banter Lover Pillows

'Poor Fred -- he thought he'd get his hair back.'

Furley hair transplant clinic - Christmas tree needles falling out in clinics window.

He says he invented upright walking to free his hands, but I'm pretty sure it was to hide his bald spot!

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

'We were thinking of naming him after his daddy, but I don't really like the name, Old slap head.'

An Archeologic Dig

Snail Pattern Balding.

Mail Pattern Baldness - A man with a bald patch in the form of a mailing envelope.

"Where do you see yourself in five pints time?"

The barber

Operation Chrome Dome.

'Hey, look. This anti hair loss treatment is finally working. My hair's stopped falling out!'

Balding gnomes

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

Sigh. They never ask me to play.

Bald man with a brush on his head

Your male pattern baldness is partly genetic and partly hereditary.

'I wish I had more hair.' 'Don't be a silly billy. You've got plenty of hair. Here's your bald, I mean your boiled, egg.'

There's a zip code on your head. It's mail pattern baldness.

STILL LIVES - Double Head Match: 'I think we're a match made in heaven.' 'It seems more like the the work of the Devil to me!'

'Here comes Ted.'

Can't stand him. He really gets on my nerves, he does. Old curmudgeon embarrassing himself like that."

"I may have bird legs but at least I don't have crow's feet."

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

All I know is, your Rogaine's all chewed up, and the cat's been coughing like crazy.

"I don't regret going bald. I just regret growing bald before I had a chance to rock a man bun."

"I'll have a Maker's Mark, and she'll have a shot at being the mother she never was."

"That's okay, I lost my wife years ago. Worst poker hand I ever played."

"Some prop-forward he's turned out to be."

'I think you're rocking the bold look, too!'

'I do hope you enjoy your birthday lie-in, dear.'

'Have we met someplace? Yes, that's why I quit going there.'

The less celebrated, but still spectacular, combover eagle.

'You can't make a wit out of two half wits.'

"When we get inside, remember to use your indoor whining and complaining voice."