Bald Eagle Buff Pillows

Insecurities of the Bald Eagle.

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"Wow. . . what's that?!"

"Be creative...!"

"...and that growl has turned many a hunter into vegetarians!"

"Let's try for dignified yet playful, while maintaining the spirit of preservation."

Get on with it!

Express Barber Chair. 10 Hairs or Less

Broadway Theater coming productions. Look, they're bringing back a production of "Hair" with all the original cast members. It's going to be called "Bald".

Squirrel Tapping On Window Demanding Food.

Baldness Facts

In the eighties, Americans knew how to be Americans. Big cars. Big radios. Big hair. Everything was big. Unfortunately, I was so buff that all my huge stuff looked tiny in comparison. So I would loan my stuff to the skinniest, wimpiest kid I could find. Hold this. Let me reminisce vicariously through you. (Sigh.) Those were the days. Is it working?

"Shoot, I forgot this place has early checkout."

Planner at work.

"In the stock market going back up, Horace?"

Balding eagle looking back through his yearbook.

"His baldness was way out of control, so we had to put him into a medically induced comb-over."

'This was to have been Hillary's greatest moment...'

"It's true, Caesar. Rome is declining, but I expect it to pick up in the next quarter."

"Dangerous? Nah, I could count on one hand the number of times he's bitten me."

Park. Don't fear the animals, try to analyze their motives. Don't be "afraid," be "a Freud"!

"If you hibernated you wouldn't have to worry about losing an hour's sleep to daylight savings."

Dog

Centurion in a Shower

"The combover works even less now that you're using your back hair."

Blackbirds.

'I'm getting old: I can still spot a rabbit a kilometre away, but I can't read the newspaper anymore...'

"The Five Major Warning Signs of Baldness."

Wild Window Washers

Jens Stoltenberg.

Sympathy

"Hey... Where'd everybody go?"

"Leave it alone, Larry...those things are loaded with saturated fat and cholesterol!"

Kid cleaning balding head.

Toupee shop showcases hairy head covering.