Balanced Eaters Club T-Shirts

'Nonsmoker, healthy diet, regular exercise. You put up a good little fight.'

"I've put on a few ounces, but it's mostly paperweight."

"Is that your idea of a well balanced diet"

'Because Thanksgiving is about a bountiful harvest. That's why we have to eat all these vegetables.'

'Eat a balanced diet, walk daily and make prudent investments.'

'Bad news! More people are switching from red meat to fish!'

"I'm taking you off two of the four food groups."

'Well that's a first Mr.Grimes - you appear to be suffering from an excess of omega 3.'

'I'm sorry but I can't bring out the dessert menu until both of you have eaten your veggies, company policy.'

"So dude, how much ahve you saved up from your job?"

'Looks like you've got enough fiber in your system.'

'They opened an ice cream shop by the gym.'

'You're too fussy - the coffee isn't THAT bad!'

"Unexpected item in bagging area."

That's not quite what I meant by a 'balanced diet'..

"More protein? How about some veggies once in a while?"

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

"Sure, dead meat is good...it's just that sometimes I'd like a nice salad or a fruit cup!"

"Will the four main food groups fit on a pizza?"

Supermarket Aisles.

'They say breakfast is the most important meal of the day, but I say it's lunch. If it were the other way around, I'd be dead by now, since I've been sleeping through breakfast for years.'

Weight Watchers: StOUT and thIN Desk Organizers

'I invest globally, but eat foods grown locally - so that gives my life balance.'

"Yes, your blood work is not good! Going after the weak, sick or old is not conducive to eating well now, is it?"

"I do want to be healthy but not so healthy that I miss out on my unhealthy eating habits."

"This idea of offering staff flexible working options is genius, we should have done it years ago!"

"We may want to review the fibre levels in our diet..."

The eat well - lose weight - be calm diet.

'I lost twelve pounds.'

'One four ounce serving supplies minimum daily requirement of butylated hydroxyanisole...'

"We all wear our desserts in one way or another."

"You don't have any time? Try fitting Taoist sex into your schedule."

"You can't just tell people to eat shit anymore -- now you also gotta tell 'em how many calories it contains."

'...until the doctor put me on this bread and butter diet nothing worked for me.'

I've been told I eat like a stable hand. Let's not insult stable hands.