Balanced Diet Believer T-Shirts

"I'm taking you off two of the four food groups."

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"Is that your idea of a well balanced diet"

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

'Reach up and fold down into Uttanasa.' - 'Notice how you feel both physically and spiritually.' - 'Physically, I feel that my toenails are a bit too long.' - 'Hmmm... okay, what about spiritually?'

'Because Thanksgiving is about a bountiful harvest. That's why we have to eat all these vegetables.'

'I've got the world by the tail. How much is this going to set me back?'

'Bad news! More people are switching from red meat to fish!'

"Take. Your. Time!"

'Well that's a first Mr.Grimes - you appear to be suffering from an excess of omega 3.'

'I'm sorry but I can't bring out the dessert menu until both of you have eaten your veggies, company policy.'

'What makes the Tower of Pisa lean?' 'It never eats.'

'They opened an ice cream shop by the gym.'

'Looks like you've got enough fiber in your system.'

"Unexpected item in bagging area."

That's not quite what I meant by a 'balanced diet'..

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

"More protein? How about some veggies once in a while?"

"Will the four main food groups fit on a pizza?"

"Sure, dead meat is good...it's just that sometimes I'd like a nice salad or a fruit cup!"

Church of the Low-Carbs

"THIS YEAR I'M GOING TO GET IN SHAPE."

Supermarket Aisles.

The good and bad news for the species is we have less fat than beef.

'They say breakfast is the most important meal of the day, but I say it's lunch. If it were the other way around, I'd be dead by now, since I've been sleeping through breakfast for years.'

"Yes, your blood work is not good! Going after the weak, sick or old is not conducive to eating well now, is it?"

'I invest globally, but eat foods grown locally - so that gives my life balance.'

"Yeah! Well, I don't believe in karma."

"I do want to be healthy but not so healthy that I miss out on my unhealthy eating habits."

Highwire Texting

"We may want to review the fibre levels in our diet..."

"This idea of offering staff flexible working options is genius, we should have done it years ago!"

The eat well - lose weight - be calm diet.

Slimming World

'One four ounce serving supplies minimum daily requirement of butylated hydroxyanisole...'