Bagel Aficionado Gifts

Almost Everything Bagel

Bagel Story

"I can't find a decent bagel in this place."

"Jalapeño was our first bagel to go platinum."

"Oh, great! A big date tonight, and I break out in poppy seeds!"

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

Marx & Hegel Buy a Bagel.

Customer admires courtyard of bagel shaped restaurant.

Ivan's lunch hour would be an extended one.

Lox Ness Monster

"How do you keep a bagel from getting away?"

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

"I'm just here to pick up some bagels."

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

You're the botanicals in my gin

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

Non-Power Breakfast

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

Countervailing Clichés.

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

"The bagels are better in New York."

"The best thing about this, is the lovely honeycomb centre."

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

Filling the Missile Gap

"It'll take three wishes to get less cream cheese on your bagels in New York."

"I do like a plant that can hold its drink"

Pope tarts.