Bag Expert T-Shirts

"Before we take you up to the ship, we need to examine the contents of your bag."

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

(Visual gag) Wellard's annual BIG HANDBAG SALE!! A woman is dragging a huge bag out from a bag shop

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

Goldilocks and the seventeen black shoulder bags

Heading off with a packed bag

"You shouldn't have stopped to go to the bathroom, sir - you were late claiming your luggage, so we raffled it off."

"Mom, no raking for me this fall! Got any more leaf bags?"

Excess Baggage: Before starting your rental car, be sure the radio is turned all the way down.

"I travel Prada whenever I can."

"I just wonder if the brand name is too obvious."

"How adorable! I'd love to have one of my own but I'm so terribly allergic."

'I am not checking this because it's my purse.'

'My mom got it on. She said you'd get it off.'

"We'd like a quiet table for two where my wife can justify spending three grand on a handbag."

"Any bag that can hold all my things becomes too heavy to carry."

"Which free tote goes best?"

'And here's the crown jewel of the collection. It's an '86, totally organic, and the UK Bag Manufacturers' Association rates it a 99.'

'Next time I insist on flying first class!'

"I have this nagging feeling we've forgotten something..."

I'll have that first pair you showed me. Sorry, they were sold an hour ago!

"Would you like your milk in a bag?"

Handbags at dawn. A typical bout of fisticuffs on the rugby pitch.

"It is called, appropriately, 'The Carry-all' "

Bag Lady.

'That's Jeb Lambert. He was actually the first one to say 'paper or plastic'. Before that everyone said 'plastic or paper'... I mean, can you imagine?'

'Pack this yourself, Miss?' (Nelly the elephant at customs).

"I would have left a long time ago, but I could never find luggage I really liked."

"It's the best bag I've ever had, I can get everything in it."

Commuter X-Ray

"We found our luggage in Cabo, but it's way happier there and isn't coming back."

'Does it have plenty of closet space? My husband sulks a lot.'