Baftas Gifts

Oscars

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

"Meet the author"

Face painting by numbers.

Meet the author - celebrity autobiographies,

Tunnel of Like.

"Regarding the plot of your novel ... what on earth were you thinking?"

"That was too many fresh original voices for one night."

'He speaks for our entire generation. Pity he's such a bore...'

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

Test your patience, back in one hour.

Dinner at the Jolly Sandboys (opening to Ch 19)

A book reviewer reads between the margins.

Board of Directors enter the 'Tunnel of Corporate Love'.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I simply can't believe that I've won this award. I keep wanting to pinch myself."

"I would like to thank all the big and little and in between people."

Getting the bus back into town from the Bologna Children's Book Fair...

"And the award for Best Product Placement in a Domestic or Foreign Film goes to..."

May I have the envelope, please?

The nonprofit dog fight.

"You're probably wondering why I called you in here today..."

"The idiots don't realise that flying in a private jet is meant to be IRONIC!"

"I'd like to thank everyone who believed in me."

Margaret Thatcher as the rad queen in [Alice] Through the Looking Glass. Her clothes display symbols of her policies, such as a map of the Falkland Islands and policemen's helmets

"Sorry Kid?"

The interminable!

"First, I'd like to thank everyone who believed in me."

Using the skill of pottery to make athletics trophy.

"Nominations for best skinny mad white dude goes to..."

"Good autobiography, but I preferred your memoirs."

Woman dragging reluctant partner into Tunnel of Commitment.

"This goes to our Most Aggressive Defender and, ironicall, first person ever to foul out of an awards banquet..."