Bad Loan Collector Pillows

'Your investments in sub prime mortgages have become collectors items now! Aren't you excited?'

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

"Nuts to you, too."

'Do you think we should tell anyone about this?'

Kanya West Inspired Children Books.

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

'A is for Arse.'

Vinnie's Repossessions: A Turtle has just had his shell repossessed

'I chose my field on what would put the most impressive initials after my name.'

"There are those who write books to be read and other who write novels for bookshelves."

Bingo! Credit card number!! The real reason raccoons like garbage.

'In the future, if we're a little late with your allowance, don't just automatically turn it over to a collection agency.'

"I have an app for that."

'Once upon a time there was a really lousy editor name Sue. Sue was lazy and stupid, so she was fired, and her boss lived happily ever after. The end.'

'You shouldn't have.'

Memoirs: Fiction/Non Fiction.

'Our tabby was pre-approved for a credit card!'

"Let's text her, she'd like that."

You trip on it, you buy it.

"And His Majesty sends you a great big kiss, too."

'If you don't pay us, I'll tell all your creditors you have.'

The Boss.

Home Sweet Second Home.

"About your tax refund—would you like to donate it to help pay off the national debt?"

Company profit making scheme - Jenkins, you owe us £327.95.

'Yes, our phones have WIRES attached to them! We're no free-range blabbermouths in this household!'

'Oh great, now I have to render unto Caesar, too.'

"No, I don't think I have a book in me. I think I have a chicken in me."

Cut out and keep your own Jane Austen.

Benjamin Bunny re-writes Beatrix Potter

"The interest rate can't go any lower, so if necessary, we'll have to go back to pounds of flesh."

"You inherited an extra toe from your father and didn't pay the inheritance tax on it."

Pile of books for sale with sign: Expired Fifteen-Minutes-of-Fame Books.