Backyard Chicken Keeper Pillows

"Actually, I would rather have a dog. It's just that we need the eggs."

"How can you tell whether it's a rooster or a hen?"

Allotment

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

bird interprets modern art

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

'I suppose you want Polly to forget she heard that.'

"Has anyone turned in a chicken?"

'Superstock'

'First give me the food - then you get the egg.'

"You look ridiculous Ed. Why can't you just accept you're going bald and ditch the wig?"

Lady taking her Cochin chickens for a walk.

"My once perky chicken breasts hang like flapjacks, I don't lay eggs anymore, I'm burning up with hot flashes, I'm...."

'George, stop playing with the children.'

"At long last we've discovered evidence of a poultrygeist!"

Cop gives ASBO to cockerel: 'This of this as a cock-a-doodle-don't.'

'I've lost the urge to repeat everything...'

'Slow down,' I said... 'Watch that bump,' I said... Not only did we lose two of the kds, but who knows what kinda damage that's gonna do to the paint!

"Gesundtheit, Dear."

'Step on it, Larry.'

"You'll get right back over here if you know what's good for you!"

A man with a bird perched on his finger.

"With Tia Carmen's chickens, we'll get twice as much candy!"

"What's the occasion?"

'Maybe I shouldn't have brought the termites,'

'You think irritable fowl syndrome is bad? Just wait until you hit menopause.'

'Ain't no lonelier life than being a free-range chicken boy.'

'This is taking too long - we'll have to induce hatching.'

'Who called me a quack?' (boy has duck on his knee in vet's surgery).

'I'm really tired of hearing about her pious children, the angel food cake.'

"Eggs, eggs, eggs...that Delia Smith's ruining my life."

Fee Range Chickens

Early Learning Centre

'Mr. President, you have a phone call. It's the First Hen.'

'Congratulations! It's an omelette!'