Backyard Banker Gifts

"I'll be okay when I retire. I'm maxing out my 401(K), stepping up my IRA contributions, and three times a year I bury two duffle bags filled with unmarked bills in my backyard."

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

British savings accounts

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

'The check is in the email attachment.'

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

Great Chinese Dynasties

Today we'll see some misused or misunderstood financial and economic terms. It's said inflation can hurt the economy. But it's absolutely in the tire business. I bought this warm puffy jacket with cash. A down payment. We like beer and coffee. Our most valuable liquid assets. In a monopoly breakup, the race car would to go one person and the dog to another. And when I become either a buyer or a seller. He's shorting the market!

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

Mario Draghi

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

Spot the difference.

Men's Suits. I hear being suave and sophisticated is coming back in style. That's just an urbane legend.

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

Entering the Business Community: Assets/Liabilities

"What's a debenture?"

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

Bank Loan Dept. Personal Business. Uh-oh, some loans have gone bad! A tennis pro defaulted and a novelist is in Chapter 7. The bed linens company folded and the scuba school went under! Are any of our loans still good? Yeah, the music streaming service is totally sound! And ironically, the lighting company is in the black!

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

Wall St. or True Love.

'Let's just wait here until the federal stimulus returns.'

The economy.

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

Tree in Dollar Shape.

Desk plaques: 'Money isn't everything' '...Which makes it no less awesome in my opinion.'

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

"I think I just solved my cash flow problem."

E.U. Banking Union.

"I'm just glad we got out before interest rates went up again."

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!