Backyard Banker T-Shirts

"I'll be okay when I retire. I'm maxing out my 401(K), stepping up my IRA contributions, and three times a year I bury two duffle bags filled with unmarked bills in my backyard."

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

British savings accounts

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

'The check is in the email attachment.'

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

Great Chinese Dynasties

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

Mario Draghi

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

Spot the difference.

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

Entering the Business Community: Assets/Liabilities

"What's a debenture?"

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

Wall St. or True Love.

Desk plaques: 'Money isn't everything' '...Which makes it no less awesome in my opinion.'

'Let's just wait here until the federal stimulus returns.'

Tree in Dollar Shape.

The economy.

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

"I think I just solved my cash flow problem."

"I'm just glad we got out before interest rates went up again."

E.U. Banking Union.

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!