Background Check Enthusiast T-Shirts

'We did a background check on this guy and he came up squeaky clean... just what is he trying to hide anyway?'

Social worker dating

"I've finished all the background checks and consulted a psychological profiler to see if they can identify any problem areas."

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

'Here's MY information highway!'

"I imagined the Library of Congress would be much bigger."

40 Days without an on-the-job conversation.

'Where was the TSA?'

'When I asked you to do research for your assignment, I meant the library not on Google!'

Clever visual metaphor used to personify the abstract concept of thought and memory.

'It's nothing that a few stem cells and 75 years of research can't fix.'

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

CCTV in church.

'We have some facts about you that you don't remember, some that you thought were really secret, and some that never even happened.'

Peer-reviewed journal publication.

"Sorry, we first have to do a background check."

'Sounds like it'll flop.'

The Ayatollah Bomb?

Disappearing Democracy

Rumours Online

"I said on the phone '2 percent.' I’m sure the NSA would back me up."

'People who can read Venn diagrams...'

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'

"Stop! Information overload. I need to rebuffer."

"Fill out all these highly intrusive forms...we can't wait!"

'That book is still floating around the system.'

"I'm not going to shoot the messenger, but I'm also not going to renew his grant."

"Fifth robbery this week. That's not a security camera ??" a local TV news station installed it to save time."

'Never mind how accurate they are -- How DISCREET are they?'

"If you're my gramma you wouldn't have a problem consenting to a retina scan!"

Obama's surveillance of America.

The prime minister: the current threat to national security...

'Don't worry -- the security camera is for your own protection.'