Back Scratcher Aficionado Gifts

'Ooh yeah, a little more to the left...'

'I told you we were going to become rich with this T-Rex back scratching business.'

"Sorry Darling, I can't reach your itchy spot..."

"There you go sir, a purpose-built back-scratcher..."

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

'Wow...Your work is amazing!'

"Hank brings five years of top sales experience to our team so lets try to make him feel welcome as he makes you all look bad."

'It doesn't take much to please him these days.'

"Have you been scratching this?"

'Oh no...I'm living the dream.'

"With me everything is 'scratch and sniff'."

'You should have used contraceptives -- I'm afraid your lucky socks didn't work.'

'Sorry I'm late - I stopped off for a beer and a back rub.'

'I swear officer: I had just stopped to pull up my socks when the weasel went 'pop'...'

Dueling marionettes.

Menswear shop.

"Whatever you do don't get onto the topic of his wacky socks."

"Scribbidee-ze-sop, Boop bee boop zop, scribbida woo-woo zwee ©"

Back scratcher

The Final Backstroke

"Ooooohhhh, that feels so good. Now, down and a little to the right, please."

Warming up

Take it easy on the stretching exercises!

"The mosquitoes are coming!"

'We hope you don't mind, David is particular about his lumbar support.'

"You can keep asking, but I will not scratch your back!"

'The Sock Exchange'

Jester with scratch cards. "I need to win some money to fund my arts project."

"Eere Bert, I've got an itch just below the shoulder blade."

A footballer scores a goal with a back kick while goalie not paying attention.

"C'mon - it's not like I'm argyle!"

"… Now a little to the left … that's it, honey, nice … mmm … OK, now get lost."

'Portnoy, in Lieu of a raise or bonus, I'm giving you these 'instant winner' lottery scratch-off card.'

'Bad back!'

The problem with Scratch N Sniff lottery tickets.