Baby On The Move Pillows

Twenty-first century baby walker

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

'Are we there yet?'

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

31. 19. 55.7.

"I'd better enjoy this while I can. It's the only home I'll own without a mortgage!"

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

Tidy it up for the open house, and it wouldn't hurt to put out some freshly regurgitated worms. For sale.

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

"Did you notice how the cables never get tangled!"

That's my daughter, Alayna

A postwoman delivers mail together with her baby who is riding in the letter carrier.

'He was getting too heavy to carry around in my pouch.'

'Yeah, strictly speaking it's a hole, but I prefer to think of it as a bijou hole.'

"Talk about energy efficient...every lightbulb in this house will outlive you!"

"This city is becoming unlivable."

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

'Have a heart, officer... the little mite is starving!'

"I'm sorry, honey. I thought you'd be happy that your germ-ridden blanket was such a hit on eBay."

'We can't move in with my parents - they've moved in with grandma!'

"Aw, Dad! I don't wanna move. I just made friends with a fossil!"

'You can go home today, but we'd like to run a few more tests on your husband.'

A mother drives a mini-van full of kids; her bumper sticker reads "I'd rather be working".

"We can deliver it Tuesday. If no one's home, we'll just slip it under the door."

'I'm getting rid of a lot of crap as move into the next phase of my life...'

"Word is that since we increased your case load, you've been living at the office."

"My biggest concern is adequate closet space."

State of the Union

Home Sweet Home

"Wouldn't this one look nice shrivelled up in the kitchen?"

House sale.

'Face it, you'd be lost without me!'

House hunting is cruel.

Realty. Remember

'Your wife has had triplets. I suggest you go home and get some of the sleep you won't get in the next several years.'