Baby Milestone Documentarian Pillows

"Mum, Dad, I think I might be bipedal."

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

When a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

"Now that I can talk, here's my speaking fee."

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

'At lone at last.'

His first conspiracy theory...'Is it a coincidence the first time I walk, they start locking all the cupboards? I think not!'

A family trying to make a child smile for a photo

One!

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: This is solids?

First Steps

"Charles, look! He’s sending his first text!"

Eagle parenting.

"Our little girl has blossomed into quite the little complainer."

"I'm too old for baby limas."

'How old? He's 14 months, 3 days, 7 hours and 16 seconds... 17... 18...'

"Worthy of an Oscar don't you think?"

'The baby cut a tooth today.'

"Honey, your head's through the armhole again."

Proud parents take a photo of their potty-trained child.

'Look, he's taking his first steps.'

Why do you hate blockbuster movies? Why do you hate documentaries? I don't. I love spending two hours watching the very life I'm trying to escape. Oooh, fun, bittersweet insights into the complexities of living in modern life. Document this! My camera lens isn't wide enough.

'Her first telekinesis!'

"And we're just so proud you're walking to school alone. Aren't we, Harold?"

Baby's first horror movies

'Look daddy,look! I'm exactly 3 feet tall!' (a child foot getting measured for height).

'Dude, don't do it. Somewhere down the road it will lead to chores.'

Bob's Photography Full Service: Baby Pics, Graduation, Wedding, Crime scene, Aautopsy.

'She's just done her first tweet.'

Circus baby

"Ambitions... to stand on my own two feet."

Types of online-ing

'Look Mummy: I've pu on my shell all by myself...'