Baby Culture Vultures T-Shirts

"Oh he also likes Wagner's 'Flight Of The Valkyries' played whenever he enters a room."

Tut and Carmen.

Culture Saturday

Venus

"Have you read any of Shakespeare's plays?"

Distractions Of The Great

Tourists in Egypt

The only way to see the world is to see the world

No time for sirtaki now, Greece!

The Rise of Modern Art

"Did Melina Mercouri ever get those marbles back to Greece?"

Scarpia's Palace

"He looks just like your husband."

"A wise choice sir! Aah. . . Da Vinci - a genius of the Renaissance and a man who changed the face of art forever! Would you like that as a bookmark, a pencil sharpener or a fridge magnet. . . ?"

"Here's our little bundle of joy."

"And remember, it's important to wake them up at hourly intervals."

Modern Kids.

"Which way to the Mona Lisa? We're double-parked."

'What do you mean you're the new Paediatric Specialist?'

"It had to go - there were historical links with slavery."

'It's a chicken.'

Exhibition of Paint Colors.

'Arcadian, Brian..it's an Arcadian evening!'

The pop-culture critic's annual existential crisis."

New Orleans Will Come Back Blues.

'I started off as a single cell and now I'm in one.'

The London Olympic bid

"Hi! I'm on the Sphinx!"

'Talk about stuck-up! -- he has Masterpiece Theatre action figures!'

Happy Hog - Manet

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out

"My two-year-old actually did paint that."

West End Shows closing - box office piled high with boxes.