Vintage Culture Vulture T-Shirts

"It's SO last epoch."

Cocktails on the verandah.

Tut and Carmen.

Venus

"Have you read any of Shakespeare's plays?"

Distractions Of The Great

The only way to see the world is to see the world

"Just don’t tell the other vultures. I’ll never hear the end of it."

Tourists in Egypt

The Rise of Modern Art

No time for sirtaki now, Greece!

"There's more inside."

"Did Melina Mercouri ever get those marbles back to Greece?"

'Time to buy.'

Scarpia's Palace

"A wise choice sir! Aah. . . Da Vinci - a genius of the Renaissance and a man who changed the face of art forever! Would you like that as a bookmark, a pencil sharpener or a fridge magnet. . . ?"

Moulin Rouge Security

"Promise me that if I die first you won't eat me."

Modern Kids.

"Which way to the Mona Lisa? We're double-parked."

"He reports to Grand Central Palace tomorrow."

'I was there, man - I didn't see you around.'

"It had to go - there were historical links with slavery."

Exhibition of Paint Colors.

The London Olympic bid

Happy Hog - Manet

The pop-culture critic's annual existential crisis."

You'll get us thrown out of the carrion Union!

"Hi! I'm on the Sphinx!"

'Arcadian, Brian..it's an Arcadian evening!'

New Orleans Will Come Back Blues.

Decaying corpse

Too young for the sixties, too squeamish for the seventies, too unambitious for the eighties, too technophobic for the 90s, too poor for the '00s, too old for the 'teens."

"My two-year-old actually did paint that."

West End Shows closing - box office piled high with boxes.