Baby Boomer Alumnus Gifts

"Thank you for your service."

'I've been called some mean things as a baby boomer, but 'Pig in the Python' really hurts.'

'Nothin' beats a wild block party.'

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

'In conclusion, I hope you all go out there, get well-paying jobs, and give lots of tax-deductible gifts to our alumni fund.'

Alabama Traffic Jam

Love Song of the Baby Boomer.

"Dad, I hold a professorship, in poetry at Harvard. I'm widely published. I'm well off. I'll retire in three years. The odds of me going into medicine at this point are slim to none."

I was an accident. The only baby pictures of me were taken by an insurance adjuster.

The Next Product For Boomers: Designer Adult Diapers.

Old hippie

'Congratulations! He hasn't got MRSA.'

"It was a surprise. The college alumni solicitation letters never stop, even here!"

"Ogden, could you pull a string and get me one of those pictures of you naked at Yale?"

Warning: No over-taking in birth canal.

Leave it to Boomer

"I said I USED TO BE A BABY BOOMER!"

'Your mother and I have a few questions to ask you about Woodstock.'

'I made big bucks in the 70s, invested well and now I'm living it large.'

'I thought they told you that any donation, no matter how small, would be greatly appreciated.'

"They've got Hank on some of that medical marijuana."

"...business is booming and we're opening new branches worldwide!"

"Someone must have read about me in the financial pages. My college alumni fund in contacting me twice a week."

'This is the fourth time in four years! Are you planning your own town!'

'I'm afraid all those goldfish you swallowed back in college have finally caught up with you.'

'Can't we raise the baby, and then make him pay for our Social Security?'

"This will lighten your mood, Dick - every few minutes, a baby boomer turns fifty."

"You'll like this place: they play old skool house."

"We're lucky the Peace Corps sent us a Princeton man."

Triplet

Beware - Baby Boomers Turning 40.