Baby Bonding Stories T-Shirts

'All I want for Christmas is my old shape back again.'

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

Cry babies.

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

Late night teddy reading

'Please make us instruments of Thy peace, starting with Bucky Sims.'

'She's just great with the children.'

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

"I'll get up in negative five minutes."

"Oh, Aunt Em, it wasn't a dream. It was a place. And you and you and you ... and you were there. But not that man with the straitjacket."

A child interrupting family prayers

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

"Dad, can we have a bedtime narrative?"

Yoga with Baby

'Don't touch that tooth, dad. I'm expecting the tooth fairy at any moment.'

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

"I said, was... it... a... difficult... birth?"

"Well did he?"

"And this little piggy went – whoa! Where is your fifth little piggy?!"

"I consider every member of our family to be like family."

"When I was your age, we wished on stars. Now, we wish on satellites!"

"There's no way we can get him ow. He's completely under the covers."

"Today, son, you are a man."

"Am I looking happy or sad in the appropriate places?"

"Dad! I can't believe we come to the beach and you set up all the way out here! I can barely see the ocean...we're so far from the wa..."

"Why did I start the story with 'Twice upon a time?' Because it's a sequel."

'The cow jumped over the Moon? -- What was SHE on?'

"There's nothing wrong with my car. . ."

"It doesn't say, Son, whether or not Noah wore a captain's hat."

Baby Bear.

"You're using the boogeyman as an excuse to shut me out."

'...and then the DOW rallied six hundred points and the three bears felt like idiots...'

'Your father's a genius kids. First he discovered fire and now marshmallows.'