B-movie Fan Gifts

We come in peas!

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

A huge shark is about to attack a small fishing boat and one of the guys is saying 'Listen... there's that creepy music again' as an orchestra of fish, crabs and an octopus play the theme from Jaws.

Reese Witherspoon

Tarzan of the damn dirty apes.

"A whack, whack here. A whack, whack there. Here a whack, there a whack. Everywhere a whack, whack."

"That was totally....what's the word I'm looking for?"

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

'This is the worst film noir I've ever seen.'

Now that you have a heart, you really should switch to polyunsaturated oil.

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

"No! I am your father!" "Noooooo!"

"Hey, Bob. Things haven't been quite the same since Richard Attenborough arrived here, have they?"

"You're wasting your time, I'll never understand which one is Liam Hemsworth and which one is Chris Hemsworth."

Cow Cong vs Toilet Rolls.

"Is it 'Measure once, cut twice?' Or 'Cut once, then measure?' Or maybe it's..."

"I see you've flown around the world in a plane, and settled revolutions in Spain. Around a golf course you're under par. Metro-Goldwyn has asked you to star. Very impressive, I must admit, but we're looking for someone with marketing experience."

Sylvester Stallone

"If a tree falls in the forest and hits a certain individual, would he still be able to testify?"

"It's not Kansas, Totem, but I can settle for it."

The mission: Impossible burger.

"Paper or plastic?"

'No sequel? No movie version? Just read me the big money makers like 'Harry Potter'.'

Our cover is francophile liberals

'Take me to your leader -- I've got an offer he can't refuse!'

"OSHA is going to hear about this!"

'It's a horror-comedy.'

Dr. Strangelove, D.D.S.

'Do you mind if I take a straw?'

I want to be a lawn!

'Business was slow, slower than a fat tortoise with a limp. The phone hadn't rung for so long I thought it must be out of order. The new competition was good, very good. Who was this 'Google' guy?'

'I want you to 'take him for a walk.''

"So you don't want to come along?"

'Great! So that's the film... Now for the sound!'