B-movie Enthusiast Gifts

The world will never be the same again after..Matrons from outer space

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

Herman Mankiewicz

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

'Will you kindly remind the rest of the staff that I'm the managing director - not the Godfather!'

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

"I'm sick of watching the same movie every day."

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

"'Tis but a scratch — in America, I'd still have to go in for work today."

"We need rain."

"Spoiler alert."

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

"Why don't you just go and see this summer's feel-good movie?"

Hollywood Breakup

Cow Cong vs Toilet Rolls.

"Everybody on the bus today was played by Anthony Hopkins."

Man writing at laptop says: 'It's a UK road movie ??" to give it more scale, I'm making the characters three inches tall.'

A mummy, in police tape, chases a police officer.

'What do you mean, 'pass the remote control'?... We're at the cinema!'

'Harlow, why can't you be passionate like Mel Gibson?'

'No, when something blows up it doesn't buffer, that's just special effects.'

"All I can figure is that he must have been inspecting the water quality of our lakes and rivers when he became entangled in cement."

'It's a 'Free Willy From Hollywood' petition: Would you please sign it...'