B-movie Aficionado Gifts

"OSHA is going to hear about this!"

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

Herman Mankiewicz

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

"We need rain."

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

"Why don't you just go and see this summer's feel-good movie?"

Hooray for Bollywood!

I love Basketball.

Cow Cong vs Toilet Rolls.

"Uh-oh it's happening aain, the feeling I'm being triggered...."

Hollywood Breakup

'Harlow, why can't you be passionate like Mel Gibson?'

'It's a 'Free Willy From Hollywood' petition: Would you please sign it...'

'One chatterbox, a natter natter and two shhhhh's please.'

The Directors Gut.

"We're gonna make, Rose! Keep washing your hands!"

"Which should we go see: the straight romantic comedy where the heroine's best friend is a gay man, or the gay romantic comedy where the hero's best friend is a straight woman?"

Relationship Rating: His and Hers

'Most of all, I'd like to thank god. . .'

'That's the last time I'm sitting in the front row!'

Best Special Effects Award

Waiting For Superman

'Mr. Kong?'

"I'm afraid that's a wrap for this session!"

"That was supposed to be us."