Ayn Rand Fan Gifts

"Ph God! Uncle Billy was just a pile of Ayn Rand works in a suit this entire time."

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

Welcome To New York City...Subject to the following conditions.

"They're SUPPOSED to have a disparate impact!"

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"Now that we're into spring, we want to warn you that spring fever can be contagious..."

"The meeting was canceled after an outbreak of contagious yawning!"

"My paper is on Paul Revere's famous ride form the standpoint of media impact across select stages of the colonial decision-making process."

Facelook

'Mathematician's Rap.'

Sergeant Stripes

"Must you wonder if the Rangers will start Lundqvist with a strained groin Friday night against the Devils so loudly?!"

Bob Dylan wins Nobel Prize for Literature

I can't stop yawning, either. Clams.

Has A Hole In It Venn Diagram

'Someone will have to row.'

What a night. I slept like a baby. I thought you had insomnia. My doctor gave me Slumberesta, the new sleeping pill. That stuff really works? Puts your right down. Even for an unsuspecting old lady jacked up on caffeine. Huh? Zzz. I must be really boring.

'Hey, Lady. . . that looks like a laptop to me. . . youze is obviously a P2P gangster. . . get in the trunk and lets go fors a little ride.'

'I see Arsenal has just paid £10m. . . Three spectators from Rangers.'

Yawning is contagious.

Stevie Wonder caricature.

"And to add insult to injury, they stole all my copies of Ayn Rand."

'Who is John Galt?'

'Nice Declaration of Independence, Tom, but some of this stuff about the King might be construed as hate speech.'

"This is our special isolation ward. You know how contagious yawning is..."

'The meeting was cancelled after an outbreak of contagious yawning.'

Ryan Shrugged

"No taxation period!"

Musical Sketches - The orchestra during the performance of a tragedy

"Son, when you go by earth, please pick me up a cow and a drunk guy fro your dad!"

Bruno Mars

'So you're doing this just for fun right? Right?'

'My dog can lick any guy in this bar.'

That conspiracy theorist makes it sound so sinister that I'm keeping an eye on my younger sister for my mom. Big brother is watching!

"If the Yankees move to New Jersey, will you be going, too?"