Axiom Analyser Gifts

"Actually, that old axiom was based on faulty mathematics! I discovered that when you correct this ration, two wrongs DO make a right!"

"O.K. he's a billionaire, but how much of it is in cash?"

"Yes, I am interested in taking a fresh look at my holdings."

See that leg? He's dreaming of chasing rabbits.

"I have a recurring nightmare where the paradigm keeps shifting without me."

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

Dr. Darrin found her peer review process unnerving.

Confirmation Bias

'We now have the technology to record your dreams. From now on, your dreams are our intellectual property.'

Give me a child at seven and I will show you the MAN!

'Oh it's fantastic. It's my thirty fourth favourite sub-genre of progressive rock.'

Interpreter for the hard-to-believe-what-they're-hearing.

Last night I dreamed I was lying on a beach with Sandra Dee, and a big lifeguard asked to see my beach tag. I didn

"I had that dream again where I kill my Shrink."

'There are bankers under my bed.'

Sigmund Freud.

'Last night I dreamt in widescreen and colour, with director's commentary and added extras.'

"My religion is about love and tolerance! Got that, you stupid son of a bitch!?!

"That's it?! Boy exploits tree, tree suffers? Shel Silverstein was nuts!"

Bill Oddie

I can't decide if your recurring dream about the Hindenburg indicates a preoccupation with death or phallic symbols. I was hoping it just indicted a preoccupation with hydrogen-filled zeppelins.

"I love my unreliable narrator. You?"

'Mr. Scrooge, I think we should talk a bit more about this dream you had...'

'As soon as she's out zap her with the brain probe!'

"I have headaches, stomach, pains, aching muscles, back pains, creaking joints, nausea and dry eyes."

'We need to ask Blah! The PSB to get the PCT to Blah! Put another GPWSI in the MSK Black! Blah!'

'It's a common hibernation nightmare, You wake up lying next to Ted Nugent,'

Psychiatrist catches patient's hallucination.

"Whoa, deja  vu!"

"I'm having these weird dreams about medical professionals delivering babies. . ."

"I've just had the most horrible dream!"

"Well, I do have this recurring dream that one day I might see some results."

"I can't believe the things I've heard coming out of his mouth since he started listening to Eminem."

'I'd give this stupid dream a 'D'.'

"I'm hitting a wall."