Awkward Moments Master Gifts

'Roger hates goodbyes.'

"Something romantic, perhaps?"

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'

"I was a lot happier with the elephant in the room."

Always an awkward moment when you meet a Dung Beetle...

You're so beautiful, I can't take my eyes off you, even though there's a fly in my soup doing the backstroke, which is comedy gold!

When we met, you told me you make a lousy first impression. Well, guess what: You also make a lousy second impression. Actually, my only decent impression is Kirk Douglas. Wanna hear it?

'Eh...our costume party was last Saturday!'

"A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something."

"You and your daft inventions."

"Humiliation is a very important part of the the process, Mr. Keifer."

How to Do Small Talk??!!

'Show one more kitten photo,lady and the next time you see me will be on a 'missing' poster!'

Waiter does not want to see customer make bubbles in his wine.

"OK, I know that this is borderline inappropriate, but just hear me out ..."

"Ignore the screams, sir. I'll get a new fork."

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

"Say these things, don't think them!"

"Don't make eye-contact, don't make eye-contact..."

"On a scale of 1-10, how painfully awkward is this?"

Baldo's How to Be Uncool: No. 5. Forget how hot the coffee is while you're thinking how cool you look sitting in a coffee shop.

As years of unspoken tension surfaced, Trunky refused to raise his hand like a coward.

'Look. . . for the last time, I'm not playin' 'footsie' with you!'

'By the way Adrian, it unfastens at the front.'

"Simple tasks were a challenge for Chad. Awww, geez. Another upside down spoon."

"If that girl sent over a double cappuccino, maybe you should go talk to her!"

"You have to get up early tomorrow, too? We have so much in common!"

"I think that one is a little too honest."

Spinach Dating.

"What an awful morning. I left home without my phone."

Hey dad, is that the boss guy that you said can talk out of his butt?

"... And since then, I've been quietly stalking you."

The Adventures of Morton - Harmless juggler.

"Of course mating is natural. It's just not the kind of thing you want to see your parents doing."