Awkward Moments Fan Gifts

"It's not you, Frank, it's me - I don't like you."

"So, is this your very first visit to a massage therapist?"

"I'm not your instructor - I'm just a weird guy making an unwanted advance."

"Here's Lori's black bean soup, but I'll need the container back — my mother-in-law's ashes were in it."

"I walked up to this hot girl with two drinks in my hands, and she turned to me, smiled and said, are you lost, Grandpa? The toilets are back there."

A Man Whose Trousers Do Not Fit.

'What do you think?'

'Your knees are wandering.'

'The party at school was awful! -- The teacher didn't like the Valentine underwear I got for her.'

An awkward moment during the coronation...

"What an awful morning. I left home without my phone."

Conversation Topics and Guidelines Approved for this Area...

"I got sleepy at the auction and stretched my arms."

"No, I don't want to see your colonoscopy photos."

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'

"I was a lot happier with the elephant in the room."

Always an awkward moment when you meet a Dung Beetle...

"A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something."

'Eh...our costume party was last Saturday!'

"You and your daft inventions."

Waiter does not want to see customer make bubbles in his wine.

"OK, I know that this is borderline inappropriate, but just hear me out ..."

"Humiliation is a very important part of the the process, Mr. Keifer."

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

"Ignore the screams, sir. I'll get a new fork."

'Look. . . for the last time, I'm not playin' 'footsie' with you!'

"On a scale of 1-10, how painfully awkward is this?"

"If that girl sent over a double cappuccino, maybe you should go talk to her!"

"Don't make eye-contact, don't make eye-contact..."

As years of unspoken tension surfaced, Trunky refused to raise his hand like a coward.

Baldo's How to Be Uncool: No. 5. Forget how hot the coffee is while you're thinking how cool you look sitting in a coffee shop.

"Say these things, don't think them!"

'By the way Adrian, it unfastens at the front.'

"I think that one is a little too honest."