Awkward Goodbye Avoider Pillows

"I hate goodbyes too, Larry, but I'm just going to get a coffee"

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"What flower says you're sorry without admitting wrongdoing?"

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

"You know I hate birthdays!"

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."

Chatty, garlic-coffee breath, apathetic, contagious

Hugs and knucklebumps don't mix.

"Tell your date you're a vegetarian before he orders that expensive gourmet dinner."

"Oh, for butter curls on ice!"

'When it comes to romance, Sherlock doesn't have a clue!'

'What happens when your little sister misses her toy money?'

"If it's all the same to you, Kevin, I'd like to continue observing the six-foot-rule."

"Some people think accountants are just boring number crunchers but statistics show that 43% of 456 people covering 56% of the total demographic were 67% sure that we're really a lot of fun!"

'I checked that birds and bees stuff on the internet, Dad -- it says you're full of baloney.'

"So this is what we call a 'red flag'..."

Nethead strip: Dates

'You two will have lots in common - you share the same anxiety neurosis.'

"Patient. . . seems. . . reluctant. . . to get his. . . prostate. . . checked. . ."

"So, when are you gonna find a woman?"

A man and a woman at a house party

"I didn't mind the panel interview, but I got creeped out by the group hug at the end."

"Would you like to dance with me?"

"Did someone forget to invite Dwayne?"

'Can you suggest a wine to go with someone who's going to be hitting the road as soon as this date is over?'

'Nope, a handmade coupon for 'one free backrub' ain't gonna cut it for our 25th Wedding Anniversary hon...'

Not in the mood for human interaction line

"Don't worry, son. You're just at that awkward age."

'If the ECG isn't broken then we have problem'

"We're about to go live. Prepare to mourn in 10. . . 9. . . 8. . ."

Inexplicably Sharon was not interested in a second date.

"I'm sure you're a nice man, but I'm not interested in hearing your plan for a flat tax."

'Are you feeling as angry, helpless, bloated and turned on as I am?'