Awkward Date Humor Fan Gifts

"The blind date was a disaster, but unfortunately for Lisa, there was no option of a quick exit..."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"And this song goes out there to any girl who might consider sleeping with me."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."

In Desperate Straits.

"We were having a great conversation and then someone clapped."

"And make sure you get my daughter home before sunrise..!"

'It's a shame you didn't get to use all those little blue pills before Ted died.'

"You'll have to excuse my date. He spontaneously combusts from time to time."

Today I am trying to grow a bit of beard...

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

"Your profile didn't mention you being a chewer."

'He's wearing a toupee.'

"I guess your reputation for tipping has preceded you!"

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."

"Our violinist isn't here tonight, but Tony here will be happy to play something romantic on his cymbals for you."

"Tell your date you're a vegetarian before he orders that expensive gourmet dinner."

SEX EDUCATION, 'It's a crazy idea, but it just might work.'

"If it's all the same to you, Kevin, I'd like to continue observing the six-foot-rule."

Man wearing t-shirt with "As seen" slogan

'You two will have lots in common - you share the same anxiety neurosis.'

'I hope you'll excuse the pajamas. They save time when people leave.'

Nethead strip: Dates

Chameleon in a bar.

Man spilling coffee and papers, looking like an awkward dance

Your shoulders are like silk. For some reason, when my skin crawls, it feels smooth.

"These are the best seats. Remember when they used to put us next to the bus stop?"

Dr Atkins on a date: 'Why does he keep looking at me like I'm a piece of meat?'

Dear Diary....I'll never, ever, go on a blind date again!

'This is not what I meant when I said we were going dutch.'

'You certainly are a lady-killer - I'm almost starved to death!'

Things you don't want to hear on a blind date.

"Well of course I'm nervous....what if I chat her up only to find out she's my ex?"

'Believe me -- there's nothing worse than a clingy Klingon!'