Awkward Complimentor Pillows

"I'll take this book. A buddy recommended it to me. . . no idea why. Holy crap! You're one helluva hot chick!!"

What price beauty?

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."

'Here goes the second bottle of champagne... I think it would be fair of You to tell me what are my chances so I know whether to order another bottle or not...'

'I'm not sure I want to see you again, but just in case, I've backed you up on a flash drive.'

'As long as I stand here I'm safe. . . no stress. . . no pressure. . . no need to impress. . . I can just relax and be who I am. . .'

"To be honest I'd rather make love not war, but my chat-up lines are terrible."

"Tell your date you're a vegetarian before he orders that expensive gourmet dinner."

"Ask me anything you want about Water Cress!"

Nethead strip: Dates

'You two will have lots in common - you share the same anxiety neurosis.'

"It's not you, Glen—it's your ex-wife. She's behind me, isn't she?"

'Find out if she would have like me if I hadn't asked so many people.'

Man spilling coffee and papers, looking like an awkward dance

'...and bring a friend. If you have one...'

"Hey, not bad! You sound like a real couple already!"

Send. End.

What a pear?

"Statistically speaking, there's got to be at least one woman in there who's looking for the awkward sensitive type."

"Does this mean I have to talk to someone I don't know?"

"I'm not used to communicating face-to-face. Can we conduct this interview via text?"

'OK, I'll admit it. You're a genius at parallel parking.'

'It's not you it's me not liking you.'

'I never know what to do with my hooves at a party.'

A shy parish cleric seeking to talk business with a lady

Geek Todd Jones strikes out with his 3000th wiman to take over third place on the all time geek strikeout list.

'How can you possibly be busy washing your hair for the rest of your life???'

"You know, Estella's pretty cool."

Inexplicably Sharon was not interested in a second date.

'I've found this lump on my testicle, would you like to have a look?'