Award-winning Novel Enthusiast T-Shirts

My other novel's a booker winner

I should be a writer when I grow up...

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"Meet The Author"

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

First Novels.

Nathaniel Hawthorne

Thomas Mann.

Reading my Critics

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

The Dorrie Decimal System

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

Television Readers.

'He likes to power nap.'

"Now I really hate poetry."

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

Voltaire

Blue Stockings

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

John Bunyan

Silence of the Chickens...

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

Characters jumping out of a book.

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

Audio Books

"I'm in a catch-23 situation."

'Stuck on a desert island, in the middle of the ocean, with only a palm tree for company, it's a bloody joke.'