Award Show Attendee Gifts

Red carpet rolling over a limousine.

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Showbiz Awards

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

'...And now, the film most criticized for eroding traditional family values, the nominees are...'

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

'Nine national treasures in one film! Start writing your Oscar speech, darling.'

"Ladies and gentlemen, I simply can't believe that I've won this award. I keep wanting to pinch myself."

Barbie Oscars

"And the award for Best Product Placement in a Domestic or Foreign Film goes to..."

"I'd like to thank my family, but, to be honest, I'm pretty sure I could've done it without them."

May I have the envelope, please?

Giving an Oscar to an animal actor would put the academy awards into context.

Oscars acceptance speech.

"I'd like to thank my mum..."

Actors getting married. 'Best supporting man'

"The idiots don't realise that flying in a private jet is meant to be IRONIC!"

'And the winner of the 'biggest loser in love' category is...'

"And, finally, to my wife, my love and appreciation for her understanding and critical insights, without whom this project would never have been accomplished."

"If it weren't for the Botox, right now I'd be so sharing your enthusiasm."

'Yeah, but would you want to have a beer with him.'

"First, I'd like to thank everyone who believed in me."

"I want to thank all the little people."

"Nominations for best skinny mad white dude goes to..."

Oscar Victory

Man reads from card at awards ceremony: 'And the award for Best Actress goes to ...'

"I think I just won Best Director!"

"Technically, it's not a crime, but it still feels wrong."

Will Smith's Oscar

"And now the award for..."

'And now the award for the best product placement in a motion picture...'

"And, should you ever lose the key to the city, I hid another one here."

"And the award for the best interruption of an oscar speech goes to...The woodwinds."

Base chapel.