Award Show Attendee Gifts

Red carpet rolling over a limousine.

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Showbiz Awards

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

'...And now, the film most criticized for eroding traditional family values, the nominees are...'

"Ladies and gentlemen, I simply can't believe that I've won this award. I keep wanting to pinch myself."

May I have the envelope, please?

"I'd like to thank my family, but, to be honest, I'm pretty sure I could've done it without them."

Barbie Oscars

"And the award for Best Product Placement in a Domestic or Foreign Film goes to..."

Oscars acceptance speech.

"I'd like to thank my mum..."

Actors getting married. 'Best supporting man'

"And, finally, to my wife, my love and appreciation for her understanding and critical insights, without whom this project would never have been accomplished."

'And the winner of the 'biggest loser in love' category is...'

"The idiots don't realise that flying in a private jet is meant to be IRONIC!"

"If it weren't for the Botox, right now I'd be so sharing your enthusiasm."

'Yeah, but would you want to have a beer with him.'

"First, I'd like to thank everyone who believed in me."

"I want to thank all the little people."

"Nominations for best skinny mad white dude goes to..."

"And, should you ever lose the key to the city, I hid another one here."

Will Smith's Oscar

'And now the award for the best product placement in a motion picture...'

"I think I just won Best Director!"

Base chapel.

"And now the award for..."

Man reads from card at awards ceremony: 'And the award for Best Actress goes to ...'

"But most of all I'd like to thank the zeitgeist."