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Jodie Foster

Meet Me Outside St. Louis

Cut!

"Happy Birthday!"

'I saw an offbeat play the other night. No one took off their clothes.'

'Sheep striptease'.

Red hot little combo

"Hmmm... what would Scooby Doo?"

Actor talking to unimpressed child

They had the technology to rebuild him: The $ 6,000,000 egg.

"It looked a lot better on Colin Firth."

Johnny Depp

A potato's favourite video

'Oh, don't mind them, We're shooting a reality-based TV series,'

"What are you crying about? You're the one who wins all the awards."

Quackie was sure he would beat all his competitors, mistakenly believing that the three stages of the triathlon were swimming, running and flying.

Simon Cowell

Jeremy Paxman

"He couldn't get a volunteer from the audience."

Dalek gardening...

Charlotte Rampling

Javier Bardem

Jazz Cans

Jimmy Carr

Housemaid

Broadway Baby.

"Tiger takes home a record prize money payout at the Masters. Buxom blondes across the globe rejoice."

"'Give my regards to Broadway. Remember me to Herald Square.'"

Kissing Booth

"Wow! This is just like the tv show I've spent my whole life emulating!"

Angelina Jolie

'I hope the 'King's Speech' doesn't win, it'll take Colin Firth an hour just to say 'Thank you'.'

"You can show in the awards panel - I'm ready to be lionised."

Two pilots ejected out of their colliding planes collide.

Very Condensed Books