Award Admirers T-Shirts

"Tiger takes home a record prize money payout at the Masters. Buxom blondes across the globe rejoice."

'Guess what? I won again.'

'My hot-shot assistant was named as one of the top 10 to watch."

Shell Fire

David Grohl - Foo Fighters

"Why do leaves change color?"

'Look mum and dad! They let me keep my appendix!' - A young book excitedly showing off his appendix to his arriving parents.

Soccer coach of the year.

"It's touching, actually, to see white dudes fumble around for a few last moments in the spotlight."

'Noah, before you leave we'd like to have a word with you!'

And this one i got for properly polishing my medals.

'We're looking for an award-winning sales professional. Those are trophies. You're overqualified.'

"...and I'd like to thank all my patients for being so ill..."

'For donating half my property to the poor, I'll get the 'Unselfish Millionaire of the Year' medal and a supporting receipt for my allowable expenses!'

Hospital Deaths - "Congratulations, you're manager of the month again"

Starbucks Siren

"I had that dream again...the one where I'm falling."

'I'd prefer it if the view was closer.'

"I'd like to thank everyone who believed in me."

"Here's my idea. . . we offer Trump the Nobel Peace Prize as a quid pro quo for leaving office."

"...and this one is for the Spritzer Beer account."

Norman E-Mailer

"And, finally, to my wife, my love and appreciation for her understanding and critical insights, without whom this project would never have been accomplished."

'Introducing one of our top salesmen despite his old age. . .'

"We don�t do awards ceremonies up here actually"

'Yeah, but would you want to have a beer with him.'

"Let's try one with your hand tucked into your shirt."

"They finally gave me the employee of the month award, but it kind of loses its meaning when every single other employee has already gotten it five times."

HornyWood

Most Loyal Employee Award

"Oh, boy...the leaves are falling....that means it's time to bury my nuts. But I can never find my nuts after I bury them."

'I had no idea there was a Nobel Prize for school custodian.'

Theodore Roosevelt wins the Nobel Peace Prize.

"Love me, Tinder; love me, do. . ."