Award Admirers Pillows

"Tiger takes home a record prize money payout at the Masters. Buxom blondes across the globe rejoice."

'Guess what? I won again.'

Shell Fire

'My hot-shot assistant was named as one of the top 10 to watch."

David Grohl - Foo Fighters

"Why do leaves change color?"

'Look mum and dad! They let me keep my appendix!' - A young book excitedly showing off his appendix to his arriving parents.

Soccer coach of the year.

"It's touching, actually, to see white dudes fumble around for a few last moments in the spotlight."

'Noah, before you leave we'd like to have a word with you!'

Geoffrey Rush

And this one i got for properly polishing my medals.

'We're looking for an award-winning sales professional. Those are trophies. You're overqualified.'

'...well you say you're Stephen Hawking but as Eddie Redmayne said he was going to turn up in character we're not too sure."

"...and I'd like to thank all my patients for being so ill..."

Hospital Deaths - "Congratulations, you're manager of the month again"

'For donating half my property to the poor, I'll get the 'Unselfish Millionaire of the Year' medal and a supporting receipt for my allowable expenses!'

"And, finally, to my wife, my love and appreciation for her understanding and critical insights, without whom this project would never have been accomplished."

"I had that dream again...the one where I'm falling."

"I'd like to thank everyone who believed in me."

Norman E-Mailer

"We don�t do awards ceremonies up here actually"

Starbucks Siren

'I'd prefer it if the view was closer.'

"Here's my idea. . . we offer Trump the Nobel Peace Prize as a quid pro quo for leaving office."

"...and this one is for the Spritzer Beer account."

'Introducing one of our top salesmen despite his old age. . .'

'Yeah, but would you want to have a beer with him.'

"Let's try one with your hand tucked into your shirt."

"They finally gave me the employee of the month award, but it kind of loses its meaning when every single other employee has already gotten it five times."

HornyWood

'I had no idea there was a Nobel Prize for school custodian.'

Theodore Roosevelt wins the Nobel Peace Prize.

"Love me, Tinder; love me, do. . ."

"Oh, boy...the leaves are falling....that means it's time to bury my nuts. But I can never find my nuts after I bury them."