Award Debater Pillows

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

Who will determine Venezuela's future?

"The university said he was a climate change denier so remove the statue."

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

Dialogue

"We've discovered they mate for life, as long as they don't discuss politics."

The Government's Got Your Back. And Wants Your Front As Well.

"Everyone stay calm, if we don't upset it maybe it won't start shooting."

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

"Now that's a win."

Changing Minds

"The derby is better. That makes you look like Abraham Lincoln."

"Strawman argument terrorises conversation... News at eleven."

'His idea of campaign finance reform is insisting on small bills.'

"....So called 'fake news' is dangerous to our democracy!"

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

America Finally Solves the Gun Problem

"Helen, I have decided to seek a change of venue, since it has grown increasingly obvious that I can no longer get a fair trial in this household."

"Let me connect you with Edith, our specialist in ethnic conflict in the former Yugoslavia. My expertise happens to be in North Korean intransigence."

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

A young positivist.

'I don't get it, Victoria. . . why are men in control of everything?'

Healthcare declaration

'If you have to ask, you can't afford it.'

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

"Ever notice how grateful people are when you present them with facts contrary to their beliefs?"

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

"On the contrary, Bosworth, it's YOU who has lost all perspective."

"So—who are you angry at currently?"

Children arguing over the name of a fish

"What are they saying this week? Are coffee, chocolate, and wine good or bad for us?"