Award Culture Pillows

'Better hide this...'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

'I got this one for thinking outside the box.'

Win - win

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

'Guess what? I won again.'

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

Pipe Smoker of the Year Awards.

'My hot-shot assistant was named as one of the top 10 to watch."

Gymnasts falling off the winners pedestal.

'She deserves it since she's raised our three kids with me overseas.'

Soccer coach of the year.

'And the Award goes to...Ewww...him?'

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

'And now I'd like to name this month's recipient of the Dumbest Global E-mail Award...'

On the cusp of winning the Nobel, Bernie gets exposed by his third grade handwriting teacher.

"This year the endowed chair will go to whomever pulls the sword from the stone."

"Ladies and gentlemen, I simply can't believe that I've won this award. I keep wanting to pinch myself."

"I would like to thank all the big and little and in between people."

"Oh my goodness. My lecture on John Donne has just been awarded Most Pizzazzy Metaphysical Lecture of the Year."

'We're looking for an award-winning sales professional. Those are trophies. You're overqualified.'

"Are you sure he tested negative?"

And this one i got for properly polishing my medals.

'Wow! Oh, wait -- It's only a Nobel consolation prize.'

"I'd like to thank my family, but, to be honest, I'm pretty sure I could've done it without them."

May I have the envelope, please?

"And the award for Best Product Placement in a Domestic or Foreign Film goes to..."