Award Chaser T-Shirts

'Very impressive, Jack. I had no idea there was a Nobel Prize awarded for home brewing.'

'Just when I thought my chances for being heroic were gone. Then to my good fortune, along came Afghanistan.'

'No bonus this year, Felton, but I've nominated you for a Grammy.'

'This is doing your chances of winning the 'Golden Paper Clip' award no harm at all!'

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

'I hear you got your increase.' - 'Yes, that proves my theory, if you whine enough, you get anything you want.'

'Parsloe, your desk is blocking the corporate food chain.'

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

'All right!! Bull's-eye!'

'Make up your mind, pal - there are plenty of other fish who'd give their gills for this job.'

"Remember when everyone told you this job would lead you nowhere? Well, you've arrived!"

Strive to win!

No caption

A backup plan might be a good idea, in case 'being a celebrity' doesn't work out...

Election slot machine. No matter the outcome, I always lose money.

Happy Champion

'Nice work, kid. Looks like you might be ready to sit up at the big boys' table.'

Sports Memorabilia: Help wanted-losers need not apply.

Hollywood or bust!

'My blog has been favourited over half a million times but still no book deal!'

Sports Fan - Whoever's Winning

"It's OK vicar, Nigel's just having one of his panic attacks."

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

"I got a job!"

'I'm stepping down. Who wants to become boss?'

Potter is going to go far, unless I manage to stop him.

'We're in a hurry.'

'Shouldn't you be somewhere clawing yourself to the top, or something?'

As Seen On TV

'An internship is pretty much the only way to get your foot in the door these days...'