Award Chaser Gifts

'Very impressive, Jack. I had no idea there was a Nobel Prize awarded for home brewing.'

'Just when I thought my chances for being heroic were gone. Then to my good fortune, along came Afghanistan.'

'No bonus this year, Felton, but I've nominated you for a Grammy.'

'This is doing your chances of winning the 'Golden Paper Clip' award no harm at all!'

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

'Parsloe, your desk is blocking the corporate food chain.'

'I hear you got your increase.' - 'Yes, that proves my theory, if you whine enough, you get anything you want.'

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

'All right!! Bull's-eye!'

'Make up your mind, pal - there are plenty of other fish who'd give their gills for this job.'

Strive to win!

"Remember when everyone told you this job would lead you nowhere? Well, you've arrived!"

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A backup plan might be a good idea, in case 'being a celebrity' doesn't work out...

Election slot machine. No matter the outcome, I always lose money.

Happy Champion

'Nice work, kid. Looks like you might be ready to sit up at the big boys' table.'

Sports Memorabilia: Help wanted-losers need not apply.

Corporate Success

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

Sports Fan - Whoever's Winning

Hollywood or bust!

"It's OK vicar, Nigel's just having one of his panic attacks."

'My blog has been favourited over half a million times but still no book deal!'

"I got a job!"

'An internship is pretty much the only way to get your foot in the door these days...'

Potter is going to go far, unless I manage to stop him.

'Something that'll get me googled,'

'I'm stepping down. Who wants to become boss?'

As Seen On TV