Avid Chuckler Pillows

'You didn't chew, did you ?!'

"G.P.S. FOR GUYS"

'It's another squirrel - from the park. I warned you not to start feeding them.'

'It's odd...when I was CEO of Phoenix Industries everybody laughed at my jokes, but since I've been retired, nobody does.'

Kisses--Sniff Your A-hole.

Philosophy of Forestry: 'How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Walt? Roger? Steve? Anyone?'

'Because I CAN'T follow my dreams, dummy!'

'I said that I didn't want to be interrupted...'

Keyboard in Heaven

'My client pleads not guilty, Your Honor, on the grounds that it's so hard to find decent role models these days.'

"What's all this I've been hearing about the Cloud?"

'If you insist on laughing please use the humour section.'

"...nineteen, twenty. Ready or not, here I come!"

Art Is A Snap When You Know How To Spell

"I've found it the easiest way to administer nose drops!"

"My wife took up walkin' a mile a day five years ago. Haven't seen her since!" "Lucky son of a..."

'You realize, of course, there are no easy answers.'

'Hey - I was in line first! There you go again...messing up the pecking order!'

What your acoustic guitar says about you

Man In Desert Hunted By Shark.

"No. I blew the interview when I sniffed the interviewer's behind."

'Forget the golf. I just got a nibble!'

'This coupon has expired, sir, and so have you.'

"Blimey, who'd have thought that at this level of play a contestant would stoop to an illegal false belly."

"So much chum, so little time."