Aviation Critic Pillows

Humans...What is their purpose?

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

"Technically, it's a mammal."

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

'The flight took off here...Then there's a big question mark over what happened next!'

Man crawling in desert finds sign reading 'Ignore your satnav'.

"I won't go near one of those driver-less things until they iron out the bugs."

Pussycat says to Owl: 'This is rubbish, can we PLEASE do Ibiza next year?'

'Some way we've got to get back the good old American know-how to make cheap crap.'

Think - But not too much.

Galley Plane.

'That tut, tut sound when you park..? It's your husband.'

'I hate these romance cruises.'

'We'd like to take it for a test drive.'

"Can you believe my parents? Taking a 2-week cruise on my future inheritance!"

"If you require immediate assistance, press the pound sign."

"You're in the wrong queue, sir. . . the 'Air-of-entitlement, upgrade-demands' counter, is over there."

"...and we're pleased to offer a complimentary glass of champagne to all those passengers who agree to go quietly in case of overbooking."

'In retrospect, we should never have booked this titanic-themed cruise.'

Insensitive driving school - 'That was crap.'

'You simply must eat at No 47! Their meal worm mix is to die for!'

Bag Men

'What the hey, Lorrain This is the last time we use your travel agent,'

Speed Bump

'Is that the Acme Travel Agency? I'm complaining about the lousy food on board ship!'

"Show-off!"